I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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