I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
