I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
