Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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