Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Come on in and take your pants off
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