Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
