Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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