Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
