I feel like I'm in dance class right now
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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