He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
