Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
