walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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