Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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