i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
