a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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