she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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