he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
