i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
