somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
