dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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