The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
