I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
