True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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