it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
