I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
