Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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