So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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