Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Randomize
