Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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