Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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