i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Randomize
