Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
