I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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