The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize