I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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