I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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