shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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