your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Randomize
