i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
