Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Randomize
