why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
