like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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