talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Randomize
