This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
