i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
