If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
