Those balls look pretty dangerous.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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