Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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