I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
