I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Help. Why am I so naked?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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