His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
