I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
