Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
