Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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