Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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