I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
lets start a swedish sibling band together
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
