He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
