is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Randomize
